There are alot of people and alot of different personalities out there, and even if society want us to fit in to a mold, that’s not possible. For example, we have introvert people, and their opposite, extrovert people. Note that these are NOT any mental illnesses!
Alot of people are introverted, and chances are you know more than one that is. So here are some pointers that might make it easier for you to understand your introverted friend:
I like to think that we all contain a certain amount of energy, like your cellphone you need to recharge sometimes. The big difference between an introvert and an extrovert is in the way we recharge. An extrovert find their energy in socializing with others, while an introvert recharge by spending time alone.
Introverts are usually very nice people that love to give and help others, but when that energy runs low we need to get away from people to recharge. Sometimes you might not hear from us in days, don’t worry, it has nothing to do with you, we are not mad or sad because we suddenly disappear. When we are ready, we will be back! Silence is not a bad thing, for me there is no such thing as awkward silence, words doesn’t have to be said all the time! We too like to socialise (when the energy level is high), but being around people to much can just complitely drain that battery, like if you have the wifi on, on your cellphone, that battery just dies alot quicker, I think some friends that I spend alot of time with has noticed, that after a couple of hours with them, I all of a sudden get the urge to leave, so I do. That’s when my energy is low and I need to recharge. I also rarely stay the night, after a party or socialising for an evening I want to go home, even if that means walking home alone across town in the cold! Also after a day around people in school, I almost never have the energy to socialise.
Modern technology is the introverts best friend! I almost never answer the phone when it’s ringing, not because I dont like to talk to you, it’s not that I’m avoiding you! It’s just simpler for me to text, sometimes we answer right away, other times it might take hours or even days. I can see how that is annoying to you, but this is where patience for your introvert friend is very important, if we feel pressured, we will probably pull away from you. A tip to all my friends: send me a text first to let me know that you are gonna call later, and include the reason to why you’re calling, that will most definitely make me feel more comfortable in answering. We also love the online social media, facebook and such, where we can be social but still have that barrier protecting us from what makes our energy drain, again we can do it in our own time without pressure.
But the absolutely most important thing for a introvert, and I can not stretch the importance of this fact enought: personal space!! We have a bubble around us that make us feel secure, and as long as that bubble stay intact we can function in the outside world. We all have bounderies, and if you force yourself in to our bubble, we are gonna pull away. If you want to be my friend, respect my bubble!
And remember there are good parts of being an introvert. We are often wicked smart and can see things others can’t. We think about things differently, which allows us to see issues from different angles . We self-reflect and look inward alot, and that results in knowing ourselves really well, but it can also be bad because we are painfully aware of our own imperfections, however this also make us very andurstanding toward others, since we know we are not perfect, we don’t expect others to be. Also this often make us creative, many famous writers and artist are introverts. We often get a few but very close friends that last a lifetime. We are great listener and problem solvers. Just a few of many good things about being an introvert! So don’t despair, you will be alright!
If you as an introvert find it hard to live in the extrovert world, there are tricks, I myself have done this for years and I have changed alot! (I Found these tricks on http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-benefits-of-being-an-introvert/0001060)
- Notice and copy social skills of outgoing people you admire. In time it will come naturally. (this is something I’ve work on ALOT! and I recomend it.)
- Speak out. The more you make your voice heard, the more positive feedback you’ll receive, and the easier it will become.
- At parties, try playing the role of the host. Introduce people to each other. Let them begin a conversation that isn’t about you, so you can relax. Ask open-ended rather than closed-ended, yes or no questions.
- Develop your networking skills. Use your memory for details to put people at ease and develop friendships.
- Don’t put yourself down or make excuses for your shyness. Others usually can relate to feelings of awkwardness, so it’s OK to talk about it. (another thing that helped me alot! People honestly andurstand!)
- Above all, don’t let yourself retreat from the world and avoid situations you think you might enjoy. Stay positive and remember you can always leave if it’s becoming a trial.