The end of Movember has come, and this means alot of beards and stashes will be murdered. So I am gonna dedicate this entire entry to beards.
I love beards, a fluffy beard makes me want to crawl in to it, get really comfortable in there, and have a nap. Sadly not everyone can grow a good beard, but if you can you have the honorable duty to let it grow! And shaving it off is an insult not only to those who can’t grow a beard, but also to your ancestors who wore their beards with honor and pride, you don’t want to disapoint you ancestors do you!?
Some facts about why beards are awesome:
– It’s hair… on the face!! How wierd and awesome is that?!
– Beards are totally cuddly to scratch!
– Men with beards are really sexy.
– Mustaches are porn on the face, wrong but oh so right!
– It gives you something to stroke when you’re thinking
– You can store things in it
– It’s natural, built in protection from the cold.
– Automatically makes you a better wood-chopper
– Turns boys in to men!
– Your chances of getting laid doubles
– Beard contains the word “bear” wich is awesome…
– BECAUSE BEARDS!
I think these totally scientifically correct facts, proven by the department of made up beard facts (DMBF), are reason enough for you to let your beard grow. But just to make it even more clear, you shouldn’t grow a beard if you:
– Want to look like a little boy
– Don’t like sex
But there is a serious side to this month, the facial hair is grown to raise awareness. And ofcourse I can’t make a post about movember without talking about it, ballcancer, because I love balls too.
Did you know that testicular cancer is a the young mans disease? And you are at the highest risk of getting it between the age of 15 and 35!! As always early detection is absolutely life saving, therefor you have to check yourself regulairly! Now off with those pants boys and feel around the nuts for any lumps or unusual hardness, and do this atleast ones a month. Hell make a thing of it, dim the lights, light some candles and go to town! And for you ladies out there, help your dude out!
Also, go donate some money would you:
I dont think there is any better way to finnish of a entry about beards, than showing you the song “you should consider having sex with a bearded man” by the beards! Enjoy!