The art of being a slob

The slob lifestyle is not for everyone, and there are a few key things that you need in life to be able to master this art. First of all you need to be poor, then you can’t really do anything anyway. It will help you out alot if you are, bitter, pessemistik and/or unhappy. And thirdly, being single is required, but the best thing is to have a long distance relationship, because since you’re not single there is no reason to try and attract others, but never seing you partner gives you no real reason to try either, therefor ultimate slobatory!

The motto of the slobs is: what’s the Point? This motto shapes our entire excistance. And here are ten ground rules that you have to follow to be able to call yoursel a slob:

  1. Don’t clean your room/apartment/house, it’s just gonna get messy again anyway, so what’s the point?
  2. Wait with laundery till you have worn the last underwear you own, maby buy a few new ones before you bother with laundry.
  3. You should shower, but wait until your hair is really greasy and smelly. Don’t shower at all on weekends, you never see people anyway, so what’s the point?
  4. Eating is just a necessary evil, it’s also boring. Order home food till the extent that you can afford, otherwise just get noodles, soups, pasta and pre-made meatballs etc. It doesn’t really have to be good, just make sure you don’t starve.
  5. If you’re a girl, wear very little or no make-up, that way you save money cause you don’t need to buy new make-up, plus what’s the point?
  6. Also don’t bother shaving legs etc, no one is gonna take notice anyway, so whats the point?
  7. If you have a job or school, you should do what is required of you there, but only what you absolutely have to, no point in trying to hard.
  8. If you don’t have a job or school, don’t bother getting up before noon, there is nothing to do anyway. Also wear the same clothing almost every day, that way you won’t have to do laundry.
  9. spend your time watching series and movies, that make you forget about your pointless excistense
  10. Since you are broke as fuck, and don’t have a partner around. Weekends should consist of candy breakfast in bed whilst watching some series, continues this until you get hungry enough to buy some food, then continue watching series till the weekend is over.
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